I had to get to a computer as soon as I could, to put this down, so I would not forget the number of things that just happened to me, in about a 10 minute time frame…let’s see if I can recall them all.


We just arrived home from a great morning out. Both boys got haircuts. We rode some fun rides at the mall. Had lunch, followed by ice cream. Pretty much, as perfect as it gets, with 2 toddlers in tow. We pull into the garage and this is the next 10 minutes of my life.

  1. I turn off the car, and pull my 2 year old, Milo, out of his carseat. He’s old enough to walk up the stairs on his own. (sniff sniff. A stinky diaper. I take a mental note to change it when I get upstairs)
  2. I grab the 7,500 items out of my car that need to go in the house (sippy cups, shoes, snack traps, diaper bag, etc, etc) and place them into the mudroom.
  3. I unbuckle the 1 year old, Oliver.
  4. Walk upstairs.
  5. Chase down Milo, and head to the changing table. He thinks every-fucking-thing we do, is a game of chase.
  6. Clean him up and leave him naked, as we are potty training this week. Let him loose.potty-training
  7. Take the stinky diaper to the garage, downstairs, to dispose of it.
  8. Walk upstairs.
  9. Wash my hands.
  10. Milo is sitting on his potty – cheering for himself “I did it!!!!”
  11. Hurry out to congratulate him.
  12. Let him pick a reward (markers).
  13. Locate his underwear in a toy-ridden battle zone of a living room.
  14. He sits at his table to color.
  15. I myself, use the restroom. (rookie mistake, I know)
  16. Wash my hands.
  17. Find Oliver laughing, while he sits on the potty, with his feet in Milo’s pee. (SONOFA*$@&@&(%!)  maxresdefault
  18. Pick up Oli, head to the bathroom
  19. Wash his feet and hands in the sink.
  20. Clean the potty out.
  21. Wash MY hands.
  22. Find Oli with a roll of paper towels, completely unraveled.  (Seriously child.  I was gone like 8 flipping seconds. Not to mention those are Bounty Select A Size.  You owe me like $4 bucks.)
  23. Look over to see that Milo has drawn all over his paper. His table. His chair. And his hands.
  24. Take him to the bathroom to wash his hands.
  25. Back to the living room. (sniff sniff. Oli has a dirty diaper.)
  26. Take him to the changing table.
  27. Take the stinky diaper to the garage, downstairs, to dispose of it.
  28. Walk upstairs.
  29. Wash hands.
  30. Milo is sitting on his potty AGAIN – cheering for himself “I did it!!!!”
  31. Hurry out to congratulate him.
  32. Let him pick a reward (stickers). He begins sticking them all over his shirt and face.fb_9891bw
  33. Locate his underwear in a toy-ridden war zone of a living room.
  34. Clean the potty.
  35. Clean the marker off the table and chair, using the paper towels Oli has strung about.
  36. Wash my hands.
  37. Put Oliver in bed for a nap easily.
  38. Put Milo in bed for a nap.
  39. Milo is pissed that there are stickers all over his shirt. And insists he cannot nap with them on.
  40. I remove approximately 15 stickers.
  41. Wash hands to remove sticker residue.
  42. Look at the toy-ridden, and paper towel laced, battle zone.
  43. Sigh.
  44. Walk away.  (It’s not there if I can’t see it, right?)lent-messy-toy-room11